Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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