im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
