Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
