I wish they made helmets for livers.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
