This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
