My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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