They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I think my moral compass just broke
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
