some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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