just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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