ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
