in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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