I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
