Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
no. you can't hotbox the world.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize