last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
