he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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