i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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