it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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