So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
