dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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