Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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