Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
