That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
