I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
