Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize