i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
