im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Be still, my beating vagina.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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