Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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