i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
