The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
