I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I queefed so loud it echoed.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize