Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
