since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
