He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Everclear isn't food dammit
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
