if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
