One girl and one boy is just not enough.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
