Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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