I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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