Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
