Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
