so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'd cum for enchiladas.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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