Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
