so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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