I hate all girls vehemently.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
where are my eyebrows?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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