At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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