I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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