I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
