she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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