Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You were trust falling into bushes
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
