you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
