apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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