What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize
