This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I will pee on everything he values.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
