Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
