hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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