i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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