Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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