Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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