Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
