But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
