im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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