Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
