At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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