so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
God I need to hump something, right now.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
