last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
