Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
