I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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