People with herpes should wear stickers.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
