had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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