Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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