Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
