I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
